Sunday, March 23, 2014

Of Canyons, SEO, and Hank

I'm sitting here at my kitchen table eating rice and beans and all I want to do is read Walden. Nearly three years ago, the summer before I started graduate school, I read Walden for the first time. I think I had probably been assigned to read it as a part of my BA in English, but let's face it, if I was chances are pretty good I didn't read it. Because I was a less-than-ideal student. And even if I did read it, it was likely little more than a cursory  perusal. And when I say "cursory" I mean it was probably as cursorily cursory a reading as it could be while still being allowed to fit within the definition of the word "cursory." The kind of reading that searched for a handful of killer quotes and that didn't lend itself to any retention beyond the ensuing 3-5 hours. Like I said, less-than-ideal student.

Now I said I read Walden for the first time that summer, but the truth is I never did quite finish it. But we'll get to that in a moment. That summer I was working as an SEO specialist. In fact, it was the job that I had obtained by means of the Best Cover Letter Ever. It was a perfectly fine job. I worked with great people, I was occasionally mildly stimulated intellectually by the work itself, and I sat next to a big window that looked out over an expansive field full of thistle and often patrolled by a red-tailed hawk winding his way across the sky. At lunch I would often drive to a park that was a mile or so away from the office, sit under a tree and eat while reading about Hank's experiment concerning living well.

As I read I was at once enthralled and disgusted. Enthralled by the things I was reading, and disgusted at myself for tying myself down to a desk job that was so far removed from any productive labor that Hank would have laughed himself silly if I'd sat down and tried to explain to him what I did.

Those lunch hours passed in a kind of dreamlike bliss. For those few minutes life seemed slow down and simplify. The world seemed to make sense. Naturally I could see inherent flaw in some of the ideas and philosophies put forth in Walden, but it seemed to boil down life to its core and highlight the things that really mattered at the end of the day. I tend to be kind of an idealist by nature, but that summer my idealism was at an all-time high.

One oppressively hot day after work that summer I decided to escape the heat by going for a short hike up Slate Canyon....Quick side note: boy howdy do I miss being able to decide to go for a hike and 5 minutes later be at the mouth of a canyon. I mean look at this:


 and this:


and this:


and this:


And all that just a mere five minutes from the front door. (In case you're wondering, these pictures weren't taken at the time of the hike currently in question, but they were taken up the same canyon.)

Anyway, I grabbed my backpack, hastily packed it with Walden, a box of Wheat Thins, and a couple bananas, and was on my way. 

As I was hiking along I started hitting that hiking sweet spot where everything just kind of comes together. The activity in my mind and the motion of walking along the trail and the mountain beauty all around me seemed to be so perfectly in sync that I didn't stop along the trail to read, as had been my plan. I didn't even stop to eat anything I'd brought along, but instead I just kept right on going. It wasn't all that long of a hike, maybe two hours at most, but I hadn't stopped once by the time I got back to the car.. I headed home, and upon getting there threw my backpack on the floor next to my bed and forgot about it till the next morning.

The next morning as I was getting ready for work, I grabbed my backpack to put my lunch in it and from the weight of it realized I hadn't taken everything out of it the night before. I opened it up and was met by the strong smell of banana. Sure enough, the forgotten bananas had mashed over the course of the hike and had gotten smeared all over Walden. No, that's not quite accurate. There was banana smeared both in and over the book. Somehow the banana mush had managed to weasel its way into the pages. I didn't have time to deal with it as my carpool was due any minute, so I tossed the book onto my bed and left it till later. By the time later arrived, the book was beyond salvaging. The pages were so stuck together with banana paste that they just ripped rather than allowing themselves to be pried apart. 

So I threw the book away. It felt wrong, but there didn't seem to be anything else to do with it. And since that day I've never gone back and revisited it, or, frankly, even really had any drive to do so. Until tonight.

So here I am. Sitting at my kitchen table eating rice and beans. Out of the blue, I just really want to read Walden. But I can't. So I'm just gonna keep eating my rice and beans, pining for a lost idealism.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Chicago and Cat Stevens

Drove to Chicago today.



Went to the temple.



Stopped for some Giordano's.



Got stuck in Chicago rush hour.



Now I'm sitting in my chair pretending to know the guitar well enough to play Cat Stevens.



Spring break is nice. I recommend it.




Monday, March 3, 2014

Feeling Good

I don't know why exactly, but for the past couple of weeks I've been loving Mondays. Basically every Monday I wake up and for at least the first 36 hours or so of the week, this is my theme song:


It's been awesome. For some reason the morning ritual and the walk to school just get me pumped. I've felt super energized and excited and motivated about life and the world in general. I'm super productive and I just get things done. 

Naturally this feeling tapers off throughout the week, until Friday hits and I don't want to do anything but sit in the tub. So somehow I need to bottle and store this Monday awesomity for later use.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Sports and Emotion

It's no secret that I love sports. I'm no great shakes at actually playing most of them any of them, but I love them all the same. I think that part of it may be the emotion involved. I don't really get super emotional about a lot of things. I'm a pretty laid back guy, and I think one of the trade offs with being laid back is that you (or in this case I) don't feel emotion as intensely as a lot of people do. That said, I do feel intense emotions when it comes to sports. Maybe the reason I'm constantly turning to my blog to try and work through sports-induced emotions is because I don't often deal with those constant peaks and valleys and I'm still trying to come up with ways of dealing with and working through emotions.

These thought are spurred on largely by an article that I just read on espn.com. It's entitled: Why Is Everyone So Angry This Year? The impetus for the article is Jim Boeheim's explosion over the weekend.

via
(This has spurred some fantastic memes. I do love the internet culture sometimes.)

This article gets at the fascinating question of emotion, but then disappointingly leaves it on the table without exploring it. Rather than try and summarize the issue, I'll let the article do the talking:

It's all led to a lot of interesting and necessary debates, but at the crux of it all is the far more complex issue of emotion. It is the fuel that every game, every athlete and every fan runs on and yet the lighter fluid that can turn a brushfire into an out-of-control inferno.

How do you contain it without killing it?

Because we want emotion. Fans want their players and coaches to care as much as they do: to show their passion, not play like robots or drones...

A basketball arena is nothing if not a cauldron for concocting chaotic cocktails. Students sleep in tents and paint their chests to inspire their classmates; grown men and women wear the jerseys of teenagers; they all chant and scream and boo and clap. Every play can feel like a stomach-churning roller-coaster ride; every shot carries the weight of the world on its trajectory.

Emotion can carry a team, a coach or a player to unbelievable heights.

As I read this, the article had me gripped. This discussion of emotion and the role it plays in sports and how it's important that we learn to keep it in check is fascinating to me. And not just fascinating, but important. Vastly important. And not just for the sports world, but for the world world. Learning to deal with emotion and use it productively is one of those lifelong projects that we're all doing unknowingly as we go about our lives, and I feel like if we made that project a conscious one we could probably make more and better progress on it. So as I read this article I was keen to see what insights it could give me.

Unfortunately, there were no such insights. The article's conclusion on the matter of emotion in sports is this:

But [emotion is] a double-edged sword that cuts deep when left untended.

That's the lesson so far this season. The common denominator in those acts of uncivil disobedience is that everyone lost.

That's it. Get too emotional and you lose. I'm sorry, but no. There is a time and a place for emotion, even extreme emotion, and I feel like sports have the potential to give us a unique insight into better understanding how to judge and act in all times and places. 

But if emotion is a double-edged sword that needs to be tended, How do I tend it?

If riding the wave of emotion can the be the catalyst for such amazingly good things, both in and out of sports, then, as the article itself asks, How do I contain it without killing it?

I don't have any hard and fast answers for those questions, so now for the rest of the afternoon I'm going to be distracted thinking about this rather than focusing as intently as I ought as I'm doing the other things I'm supposed to be doing. But is that kind of distraction just another of the many emotions that I need to be learning to "tend" and "contain without killing"? (fascinating metaphors, by the way.)

So ultimately, I guess I'm left with these questions to ponder:

1) How can we rein in our emotions so as to be empowered rather than diminished by them?

2) What role can sports, both in participation and spectation (that act of being a spectator), help us to answer question 1?

Monday, February 10, 2014

On the Awfulness of Sandwiches

First off, let me qualify my incendiary title. I love sandwiches. I eat them all the time. In fact, I just ate two of them: the first a classic PB&J, the second a ham and provolone with lettuce. But it doesn't matter how great a sandwich is, I stand by my claim that sandwiches, on the whole, are the worst. Allow me to explain.

Sandwiches are one of the absolutely most dissatisfying foods in existence. No matter how many I eat, no matter how delicious or expensive it is, I never finish a sandwich without feeling like I could go for one more. Never. I'm fairly certain I've never eaten a sandwich and thought to myself, "That was immensely satisfying. Now I can continue on about my business unmolested by hunger." No. Instead I usually think, "Good heavens I do wish I had another." And before you ask, yes my self-talk consists mostly of me sounding like a turn-of-the-century robber baron industrialist. Naturally this version of myself has a strong mustache, a monocle and on special occasions a top hat and tails. Aye, Rockefeller that's me. (If you can name the movie that last sentence comes from you win a prize...but not a real prize. I mean, come on, did you really think you'd get a real prize? It's not like I'm not made of prizes here.)

This all makes me wonder who thought it was a good idea to establish the sandwich as the go-to lunchtime staple? Did that guy sit down one day and say, "Okay, what can I eat for my noonday meal that will be good, but leave me wanting more to the point that upon finishing eating, my afternoon will be that much bleaker due to my complete discontent? Why a sandwich of course." And then somehow, unconscionably, it caught on to the detriment of all.

Now before you jump all over me saying, "Well Sam, why don't you just pack your lunch with other things like fruit and yogurt and chips and cookies?", allow me to say that I do. But the whole point of the sandwich is to provide the substance of the meal that fills you up. The rest is just garnish. It just stand to reason that of all lunchtime foods, it's the sandwich that should be doing the heavy lifting, not the yogurt and plum. You might counter my complaint saying, "But what about Subway?! Footlongs, Sam, footlongs!!" To which I'd be forced to respond, "Please, I've probably eaten more Subway footlongs than you've ever dreamed existed. I know footlongs. And no, they don't sate my hunger completely either." So while I appreciate your input and advice, my complaint about sandwiches stands.

I've yet to meet the sandwich that actually satisfies. It just never does. And ultimately, most lunchtimes I am left feeling a sad kinship to my sandwich container:


Here we sit, disappointingly empty, covered with crumbs, staring idly at the lunchbox wishing for another sandwich.

Friday, January 31, 2014

My Complicated Relationship with Pinterest

I've kind of been trying to do pinterest lately, and I've decided it isn't for me. Not because I don't see it's appeal. The problem is the food stuffs. See, I look at all the amazingly delicious-looking food that people pin and I get hungry. I mean look at this, how could I not?

link to recipe

So then I go to the fridge/cupboard and usually I've waited so long to eat that I've allowed my hunger to get to a place where I don't want to spend time actually preparing something. I think about all the time it would take to actually make something, and my stomach says to me, "no. feed me now." And, as Cato the Elder once said (as quoted by Plutarch), "It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly since it has no ears."

So in the end I usually settle on eating  scrambled eggs or hot dogs or frozen burritos or spaghettiOs. Which is satisfying enough. But then I go back to my computer and see the pictures of the coconut waffles with pomegranate syrup and three layers of coconut flavor or the feta, onion and spinach quesadillas that made me hungry in the first place. And Then I feel a little ashamed. And then defiant. And then slightly embarrassed.

Which leads me to conclude that I could avoid all that trouble by just not Pinteresting.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning

Fact 1: It's 12:23 am.

Fact 2: I have to teach in a couple hours. (7 to be precise)

So can the BYU game get over soon, please? It's bad enough that they had to start  it at 10 pm ET, but now we're on to 2OT.

Oh well, I guess sleep will just have to continue being that elusive mistress that she is.

...

Edit 12:46 am: Oh Come On!! On to a 3rd Overtime?!? This is getting ridiculous.

...

Edit 12:58 am: Screw it; I'm going to bed. I'll check the score in the morning.