Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sick In Bed

As the title of this post might suggest, I'm sick. And in bed. I don't understand how people can function and go about their lives despite being sick. Maybe I'm just a total baby, but even though it's just a cold that I have, I can't do anything. Yesterday I had tons of things that I needed to do. Like reading for my professional writing theory and modern rhetoric classes. And grading. Can't forget that grading. But anytime I tried to do those things, my head would start to pound so hard that my teeth hurt. And then there's the incessant dripdripdripdripping of my nose that eventually gets so bothersome that I shove wads of tissue up there just to stopper up the flow. (And if you've ever seen how cavernous my nostrils are you'll know just how much tissue this requires...ok fine, I don't use actual tissues, I use toilet paper. I'm too cheap to buy tissues. Also, I don't know why I'm calling them tissues. In real life I call them kleenexes.) But then the wad of tissues causes the flow of germ-ridden mucous to back up and start flowing the other direction, dripping down the back my throat.

That's all fine and miserable, but then, in due time a body-rollicking cough fights its way to symptomatic preeminence and no matter how many drugs I take (I don't even know why I take them, they don't do nothin) I'm left a dripping, hacking, miserable husk of a person huddled under my covers. It's like I'm a Victorian painting or something. In fact...

Ophelia by John Everett Millais

Ok, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but that's how I feel, you guys. That's how I feel. 

And because that's how I feel I don't get a single thing done that I really need to get done. Instead, I just lay in bed and sleepwatch movies all day. Movies like Swiss Family Robinson, and Candleshoe, and Blackbeard's Ghost, and The Monkey's Uncle. Even reading for pleasure is awful, so movies is all I'm left with. In fact, I'm gonna have to wrap up this post real quick-like because all these words and such are making my head pound.

So yeah, long story short, I have a lot of respect for people who actually get stuff done when they're sick. I don't know how you do it, but hat's off to you.


  1. That was my life from last Saturday evening through about Thursday. I suggest DayQuil, lots of chicken noodle or ramen noodle soup (with chicken broth), vitamin C, Vicks, and--and this is all-important-- invest in some Puffs with Vicks. They will change the experience, and are much kinder to your nose than toilet paper (from one cheap person to another...).

  2. 1. I certainly nope you aren't dying like Ophilia did. But I did laugh that you chose her to liken how you felt.
    2. Kleenex. Branding is crazy. Like Band aid. Who says adhesive bandage?? Brilliant.
    3. Being sick is horrible. Being sick as a mom to small children should be illegal. Kids just don't care. How rude.
    4. Feel better.
    5. Yes, good advice above with purchasing actual tissues.